Butch on a Budget

Hey there! It’s been a while since I posted anything here, and even longer since I’ve done so with any consistency. Partly this is a scheduling issue – I’ve had a busier social calendar and travel schedule over the past couple of years. And partly it’s because I spend less time thinking about personal finance and money than I used to.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of my favorite conversation topics, and you can regularly find me updating my YNAB budget, and fiddling around in my FI spreadsheet – but I spend less time thinking about money, and more time using my money to do the things I enjoy (like travel, hosting friends, and trying new restaurants I’m excited about). 

Money has become more of a background thought. Something to check in on every once in a while, an agenda item during a family meeting, a bill to be paid here and there. It’s an undercurrent supporting our life, but usually not a source of stress. 

This is in large part thanks to how intensely I approached learning about personal finance in my early 20s. The knowledge and understanding I gained years ago, then put into practice (and automated) led to the peace I feel today around money. 

That’s the magic that happens when you purposefully build a life with low fixed costs, set up your investments to hum along automatically in the background, and actively work towards increasing your income over the years. 

Putting in the time and effort to learn about money (and actually implement what I learned) is the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health and my family. 

Here are just a few examples of how I’ve benefitted long-term from taking an interest in personal finance:

• I no longer experience regular financial stress
• I can do the things that help bring balance to my life without it causing me more stress about whether I can actually afford it
• I don’t feel stuck in any situation I don’t want to be in. I have options and space to make decisions. 
• I know there is an end date to my time in the “rate race”
• I’m more generous
• My anxiety has gone way down
• Money used to be a source of conflict early on in my relationship, now my wife and I have some of our most fun conversations around dreaming about the future and what we want to prioritize each year – both things that stem from our money conversations. 

While I’ve spent less and less time thinking and stressing about money, I’ve seen many friends and acquaintances become increasingly stressed as housing prices have jumped up, and general inflation has been slow to cool off.

It’s hard to see people who genuinely believe there’s no way they’ll ever retire, who feel stuck in a dead-end job, and who are stressing about how they “have to” buy a house to ever get ahead and build real wealth. 

None of those things are true. 

That’s why I’m dusting off the old keyboard and trying to believe that I have something useful to offer my friends and any strangers who happen to stumble onto this little corner of the internet. 

I want everyone to feel the kind of peace and joy I feel around money, and I believe that it’s possible for anyone – with a little knowledge and support. It may not be easy, it may involve stepping outside your comfort zone, and it may involve making some changes to the way you think – but it is possible. 

In line with that, this space will be changing a bit – I’ll be posting more regular blog posts: a mix of educational content and other pieces working through more personal thoughts about money, life, and the systems we live in.

I’ll also be curating a regular newsletter (which you can sign up for on the homepage). The biggest change though is that I’ll be teaching occasional online workshops and offering Money Coaching for those looking for some guidance and accountability. I became a YNAB Certified Coach earlier this year, and I’m finally in a place where I can take on a few clients.

In fact, I have my first online workshop, Here, Queer, No More Money Fear coming up Saturday, November 16th at 2 pm ET. You can learn more and buy tickets here. 

I’m looking forward to helping people achieve peace around money through intentionality, growth, and education. Maybe you’ll be one of them! Thanks for being here. I hope you stick around.